This book is written with the belief that parents have the ability to parent their children, and that children have the ability to be parented. In the Philippines, there is a common phrase that states, “Kung gusto mo, may paraan; kung ayaw mo, may dahilan.” Translated, this phrase means, “If you really want something, you will find a way to make it happen; if you don’t really want something, you will find reasons for why it cannot happen.” Parents who want to parent will be able to come up with creative and loving ways to be a parent if they really want to be a parent. If parents do not want to parent, they will come up with every excuse they can to not be a parent, and no book will be of assistance. Every child is unique with his/her own personality. Every parent is unique with his/her own personality. This book was not written as a step-by-step or a how-to book because it must be flexible enough to benefit children and parents from every walk of life. Rather, this book focuses on principles that are universal to all families. Parenting is a growth process. Being a child is a growth process. I hope that parents and children are not discouraged if they cannot perfect these principles overnight. I don’t expect anyone to be able to do that. Perfection, for us mortals, is a life-long process. Personal growth is a difficult, but instantly rewarding road. I encourage all parents and children to savor the growth and the triumph of developing self-mastery. Look toward obstacles with joy, because the experience of growing stronger is sweeter than the bitterness of digression. Progress and digression are like paddling a canoe in a fast-flowing river. A person can overcome the current and paddle up stream, each stroke making the canoeist stronger and paddling surer; or a person can sit back and let the current take them down the river. However a person cannot sit still on the “river of life.” Enjoy the journey.
Good therapy is often boring and redundant. Once a plan and a goal are established, the remainder of therapy is about maintaining accountability. This is not an exciting task. It is full of redundancy, but it is necessary. As human beings, we are often looking for the next new and exciting psychological deficiency to explore and analyze. We chase one new idea after another never really reaching a resolution. Changes to our behavior are slow and methodical. A decision to make a change occurs instantly. Maintaining the decision is a lifelong process. The easiest part of behavior change is the beginning, when we formulate a vision and a plan. The hardest part of behavior change is following through with the plan, day after day, after day, after day. Often, we as people, drift away from the slow process of change. Not because we are lazy, but because we become disinterested. We find other more exciting things to occupy our time. If we know we are going to be held accountable for our actions, it is easier to stay on track when the methodical becomes mundane. This book was written with the intent that it will be used to assist the reader in being accountable for their actions. This requires that the reader have an accountability partner. Accountability is maintained with daily, weekly, and monthly follow up. People only act when they feel motivated. This motivation either comes from within or without. This book assists the reader and the accountability partner in developing a foundation of internal and external motivators. People always have excuses when they do not want to complete a task. This book assists the reader in identifying excuses and making a plan to deal with them. The book provides the format necessary to hold the reader accountable.
These twenty four workbooks cover the most common issues you will talk about with your child. Each one can be used to explore the extent of the problem, underlying reasons for the problem, and assist the child in resolving the problem. When completing the workbooks, the child opens up and talks in ways he wouldn’t otherwise. They are valuable tools for therapy. The workbooks cover aggression, lying, stealing, bullying, anxiety, jealousy, attention seeking, inappropriate touch, tantrums, habit formation, grieving, and a host of other issues.